infiniteandsmall (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
infiniteandsmall) wrote2013-10-16 01:31 pm
infiniteandsmall) wrote2013-10-16 01:31 pm
Entry tags:
Gah nevermind I want to stop having emotions take them back
So one of the horses at my barn died yesterday.
It was about an hour after my sister and I got there to junior groom. We had a girl who was going to shadow us because we need a junior groom to fill in for us when we go on vacation and because her instructor (who's also the barn owner) said that she would be interested. At the start of the day the barn owner said something like "well since today looks like an easy day for you guys you could put up some Halloween decorations in the front for the show." I rode one of the horses who's recovering from some kind of leg injury and does about a half-hour of walk, and our groom had to walk with the therapeutic riding class because one of the leaders didn't show.
Then halfway into the second class one of the boarders came up to us and said, "You need to go look at Lucky, because something's wrong."
Lucky's one of the school horses. He's an old guy but still very energetic and can be ridden at walk with a little trot ridden by someone very light. We run down to his stall, and he's kicking his door, covered in sweat, panicking and visibly in distress. Annie runs for Margaret, the barn owner, but the next class of therapeutic riding kids are coming, so I get the girl who was shadowing and start tacking up. She leases but had pretty much no idea what she was doing so me and my sister had to do it ourselves.
Lucky's leasers were there at the time. He's leased by two kids who are nine and eleven. They're both awesome kids and I used to help with the nine-year-old girl when she was in pony camp, and now she's one of our best helpers and is leasing (they even invited me to their birthday party!), because the girl was exercising one of our pony camp ponies who needs to get out or else she gets stiff.
They were really upset and went out to see him, and their mom called their dad to come down.
We got the class out, but the girl who was shadowing was all HOW CAN YOU WORK AT A TIME LIKE THIS and said she had to go home and that her parents wanted to pick her up, but I saw her about an hour later in the boarder aisle with one of her friends so I just don't know.
We got back into the barn, our groom had NO IDEA what was going on and we were trying to fill her in, Margaret sent Lucky's leasers back in because they were going to have to put him down, he was having a huge heart attack and possibly a stroke. They were crying, their mom was crying, all the horses in one side of the aisle were freaking out because they could see Lucky out back being sedated. We were trying to move them out and put them into empty stalls in other aisles, and the next class needed to go out soon, and everyone was crying.
Finally everything settled down and we retreated into the lunch room to clean tack with Lucky's leasers in tow.
They cut off Lucky's tail and gave it to them, which made them tear up again. One of the therapeutic riding volunteers came into the lunch room with two big boxes of mallow cups (why mallow cups I don't know) and asked if this was the place to drop off free food in an oppressively chipper voice. We all kinda mumbled out some version of "yeah" and she left looking absolutely puzzled because ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAND OF HORSES AND HAPPINESS and we were all sitting around a table with red eyes.
We then dug into the mallow cups and drowned out sorrows in cheap chocolate.
Another therapeutic riding helper came and and asked Lucky's leasers if their horse had gotten a haircut because they were sitting there holding his tail, and then proceeded to grill them in a really insensitive manner even after she learned that their horse had just died like fifteen minutes ago. Ended with "well you can get a new horse to learn to ride on soon" and walked out, and basically I don't know how those kids were not sobbing because I would have.
At that point I just wanted to go home, but we still had three more classes to get out and then I had to feed. Lucky's leasers left and a truck came to pick up the body and the rest of the day kind of continued on, but there were so many emotions.
One of my friends came in because it was her day with the horse that she leased, and she was crying, and Margaret was tearing up at one point.
And I was really excited before because my instructor had told us that one of the girls at our barn was looking for a half leaser and we were going to talk to her today. Usually my emotions are on some sliding scales of "excited about a fictional character" to "reasonably content" to "meh" to "I did something today and am proud but also guilty because usually I don't do shit" to "angry" and like. In the span of 48 hours I have been giddy and I have cried this is so unusual and weird and tiring and I don't like it I would like to stop doing emotions right now. Now I'm just tired and I still have to work and mostly just annoyed because now I have to hassle to get another replacement junior groom because this girl has zero interest even before Lucky died and I'm pretty sure it's not going to work out.
It was about an hour after my sister and I got there to junior groom. We had a girl who was going to shadow us because we need a junior groom to fill in for us when we go on vacation and because her instructor (who's also the barn owner) said that she would be interested. At the start of the day the barn owner said something like "well since today looks like an easy day for you guys you could put up some Halloween decorations in the front for the show." I rode one of the horses who's recovering from some kind of leg injury and does about a half-hour of walk, and our groom had to walk with the therapeutic riding class because one of the leaders didn't show.
Then halfway into the second class one of the boarders came up to us and said, "You need to go look at Lucky, because something's wrong."
Lucky's one of the school horses. He's an old guy but still very energetic and can be ridden at walk with a little trot ridden by someone very light. We run down to his stall, and he's kicking his door, covered in sweat, panicking and visibly in distress. Annie runs for Margaret, the barn owner, but the next class of therapeutic riding kids are coming, so I get the girl who was shadowing and start tacking up. She leases but had pretty much no idea what she was doing so me and my sister had to do it ourselves.
Lucky's leasers were there at the time. He's leased by two kids who are nine and eleven. They're both awesome kids and I used to help with the nine-year-old girl when she was in pony camp, and now she's one of our best helpers and is leasing (they even invited me to their birthday party!), because the girl was exercising one of our pony camp ponies who needs to get out or else she gets stiff.
They were really upset and went out to see him, and their mom called their dad to come down.
We got the class out, but the girl who was shadowing was all HOW CAN YOU WORK AT A TIME LIKE THIS and said she had to go home and that her parents wanted to pick her up, but I saw her about an hour later in the boarder aisle with one of her friends so I just don't know.
We got back into the barn, our groom had NO IDEA what was going on and we were trying to fill her in, Margaret sent Lucky's leasers back in because they were going to have to put him down, he was having a huge heart attack and possibly a stroke. They were crying, their mom was crying, all the horses in one side of the aisle were freaking out because they could see Lucky out back being sedated. We were trying to move them out and put them into empty stalls in other aisles, and the next class needed to go out soon, and everyone was crying.
Finally everything settled down and we retreated into the lunch room to clean tack with Lucky's leasers in tow.
They cut off Lucky's tail and gave it to them, which made them tear up again. One of the therapeutic riding volunteers came into the lunch room with two big boxes of mallow cups (why mallow cups I don't know) and asked if this was the place to drop off free food in an oppressively chipper voice. We all kinda mumbled out some version of "yeah" and she left looking absolutely puzzled because ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAND OF HORSES AND HAPPINESS and we were all sitting around a table with red eyes.
We then dug into the mallow cups and drowned out sorrows in cheap chocolate.
Another therapeutic riding helper came and and asked Lucky's leasers if their horse had gotten a haircut because they were sitting there holding his tail, and then proceeded to grill them in a really insensitive manner even after she learned that their horse had just died like fifteen minutes ago. Ended with "well you can get a new horse to learn to ride on soon" and walked out, and basically I don't know how those kids were not sobbing because I would have.
At that point I just wanted to go home, but we still had three more classes to get out and then I had to feed. Lucky's leasers left and a truck came to pick up the body and the rest of the day kind of continued on, but there were so many emotions.
One of my friends came in because it was her day with the horse that she leased, and she was crying, and Margaret was tearing up at one point.
And I was really excited before because my instructor had told us that one of the girls at our barn was looking for a half leaser and we were going to talk to her today. Usually my emotions are on some sliding scales of "excited about a fictional character" to "reasonably content" to "meh" to "I did something today and am proud but also guilty because usually I don't do shit" to "angry" and like. In the span of 48 hours I have been giddy and I have cried this is so unusual and weird and tiring and I don't like it I would like to stop doing emotions right now. Now I'm just tired and I still have to work and mostly just annoyed because now I have to hassle to get another replacement junior groom because this girl has zero interest even before Lucky died and I'm pretty sure it's not going to work out.
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