infiniteandsmall

AN: Oh my god I hate formatting things on dreamwidth ESPECIALLY PESTERLOGS. Like I have been formatting this thing for three days wow. Anyways here is part one of this thing that I've been working on. Don't know how OOC the characters are I am wandering around on my wibbly wobbly new fandom feet here. There are some lines I like though, so here you go.
Summary: Dave had been so sure at first, that if he ever got his hands on a copy of Sburb 2 he'd throw it out a window, let the stupid crows take it and admire its horrible horrible shininess.
And now he realizes that without the game, he's just a weird kid with red eyes, and time's just a day and then another day and another.

Does This Tailored Suit Have Wings?

He’s the hero of Sburb.
The cashiers at the 7/11 down the road look at him funny when he walks in at three in the morning in his pajamas to buy a slushie.
He's got a knife under his hoodie.

  Dave hauls himself out of bed at ten, doesn’t bother to change. His bedroom’s cold and damp, and outside it’s dull grey and the snow’s all changing to slush. It’s too bright in spite of the fact that the sun’s completely covered by clouds, like when he’d seen Terezi’s eyes behind her sunglasses for the first time, when they’d burnt red and fiery as the Alternian sun must’ve been.
He jerks his shitty curtains down and picks up his shitty sword. He sets it down again, and finally sighs and fumbles in his sock drawer for his iShades.

TG: john
TG: sup

John’s not online. He feels like a gigantic popup should appear over his hot pocket spinning in the microwave right about now, flashing: THIS IS STUPID. Rose is online, but he’s not in the mood, as fucking much of an asshole that probably makes him. Besides, she’s probably cybering with Kanaya.
He’s pessimistic as fuck right now, but he still feels horrible about the thought that flits through his head: how long’s this little flushed thing gonna last, anyways, with Kanaya off wherever she is. Who knows if she’ll ever find a way to visit. Who knows when he’s gonna see KK and TZ and the Mayor the rest of them. Hell, he would even like a visit from the shitty juggalo right now.

TG: fine
TG: do life stuff
TG: do life stuff like its a hot blond and its getting all up in your space
TG: wanting a piece of egbert all for themselves
TG: and none for me bye
TG: what the hell am i even talking about
TG: i havent had my morning coffee yet
TG: oh shit i officially said the thing
TG: i sound like a goddamn pta mom
TG: the most hardcore pta mom ever
TG: crappy blowout and sensible tennis shoes and minivan and everything
TG: yeah not like i got anything to say
TG: just sayin hey mornin to my best bro
TG: who the fuck am i kidding pester me back as soon as you can
TG: and no this is not a confession of love dont get your lacy little panties in a twist
TG: panties
TG: haha what a shitty word

The ding of the microwave is so loud it makes Dave wince. All the cheese has bubbled out of the hot pocket and sits, slightly crunchy and burnt brownish, on the plate.
“Fuck everything,” he mutters, and absconds back to the bedroom.

Jade hasn’t been online in two days. Since they got back, she takes long hikes to the farthest corners of her island and camps out for a few days, presumably with her fucking devil dog. Dave’s not sure if she even brings her computer, but it’s not the same without her.
Sometimes he wonders, if, high on her volcano, she could contact the trolls any time she wanted to.
He only can on clear nights, when the stars press close to the muggy heat skimming over the roof of the apartment building. He misses the beat of Karkat’s fists and the glint off of Terezi’s sharp little teeth and the Mayor’s beady dark eyes like tiny marbles.
How Rose manages her and Kanaya’s daily chat, he doesn’t know. Maybe magic, even though that’d always seemed like bullshit to him.
He’s absently picking at the burnt cheese on his plate and scrolling through some gloriously shitty video game blog (comic sans headers) when his iShades vibrate against the bridge of his nose.

-- absentConqueror [AC] began questioning turntechGodhead [TG] --
AC: Hello, David.
TG: what is is now
TG: i already told you to back the fuck off and give me some time
TG: look
TG: you cant just go
AC: As much as Ii would like to let you have all the time in the world to ponder how this decision might affect your completely pointless life
AC: Ii am already behind schedule, and furthermore
AC: Ii will be passing you soon
AC: Ii can't stop and wait for you
AC: And Ii certainly wouldn't stop even if Ii could
AC: There are other heros, or would-be heros, out there
TG: look
TG: you cant just go
TG: hey there dude you have like two days to decide on this very important shit
TG: and then hover over me like the most fucking quality hovercraft ever
TG: made from scratch by japanese robots with love
TG: custom disigned complete with big sparkly anime eyes
AC: Kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
AC: Ii don't have time for this nonsense
AC: And if you don't have anything of importance to say DON'T SAY A FUCKING THING
TG: i was on a roll but whatever
AC: We'll slow down as much as possible
AC: That will give us about two days, Dave
AC: Two. Days. Do you understand?
TG: yeah jegus christ on a fucking popsicle stick calm the fuck down
-- absentConqueror [AG] ceased questioning turntechGodhead [TG]--
TG: love you too babe

It’s almost seven and John still hasn’t gotten online.
“Yearning after that chump,” Dave mutters to himself. “Longing for him like it’s a pair of sparkly uggs and they’re going out of style. Pining like pine trees are going fucking extinct.” The irony kind of falls flat on its face when there’s no one to hear it. When he’s muttering to himself in the empty apartment all attempts at irony practically trip on their own feet and fall head over ass down a few flights of stairs. And alas, he’s tried to warn them, but it just kept happening.
Outside, the sun’s setting, red and gold and orange. LOHAC, and Terezi’s shades, and the swish of his cape behind him, and his Bro’s eyes. Something soft and itchy opens in his chest, the need to make this last, to remember. He grabs his camera out from under a pile of clothes and heads for the roof.

The lady in the penthouse apartment is a classic dirty old hippy. Onion skin tie dye and hemp rope and a terrace full of flowers. Dave always teases Jade that that’s what she’s going to grow up to be, plus a devil dog and a computer.
She doesn’t tease him about anything back. They don’t have to repopulate the world. He’s not Davesprite.
He still is pretty sure he knows how it would feel to make out with someone while drunk and forget about it the next morning, even though when most kids were doing that he was fighting imps and standing on a meteor and saving the world.

Another reason that the lady in the penthouse apartment is like Jade: she doesn’t take his bullshit.
She’s convinced that Dave is a good kid, Dave has no fucking idea why. He’s given up on even trying to be an asshole and calls her “ma’am,” even when she insists he call her Fern. She’s always giving him potted plants that wither and die within a few weeks because he’s too lazy to water them. He occasional feels sorry for them and toys with the idea of sending them to Jade. He’s pretty much too lazy to do that either.
Tonight there’s enough of a breeze that Dave’s glad he brought a hoodie, but Fern’s front door and skylight are still open.
He doesn’t see her, but a few of her plants are sitting on the roof, soaking in the last rays of light that reflect pink in the windows of the apartments buildings all around him. He crouches next to one, runs his fingertip over one of its flat thick leaves. It’s soft as human skin, and there are small sharp fuzzy hairs on the underside of it. It catches the same pink in the windows, and Dave thinks about snapping a picture, but then a pesterchum alert flashes up and.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]--

EB: hey dave!
EB: sorry it took so long to get back to you!
EB: i was thinking about
EB: well, stuff
EB: and i'm pretty sure whoever it was made you the same offer??
EB: right???
EB: um, if this made no sense just forget about it
EB: like wipe your brain like some really dirty table
EB: cause the kids just had lunch
EB: just your ole pal egbert rambling a little telling some stories of his younger years or something
EG: heheh
TG: yeah bro
TG: thats fine
TG: aokay and peachy as your grandmas pie and shit
TG: um
TG: yeah
TG: what did you say
TG: not in general like to them
EB: well, i thought about it for a little bit
EB: and then i realized, what the fuck, if i had sburb 2 in my hands right now
EB: i would crack it into a million tiny pieces
EB: and throw it out the window
EB: and let it get carried away by some crow cause it's so shiny and i'd never see it again
EB: it would be some dumb bird's problem
EB: only hopefully they wouldn't have any problems because it was broken and i really wouldn't want to start to crowpocalypse
TG: thats what i thought
EB: what do you mean
EB: you thought that's what i'd do?
TG: well yeah
TG: but also what id do too
TG: but now i keep thinking i should say yes?
TG: which is super fucked up like
TG: fucked up with a cape and a skin tight latex suit and abs of steel
TG: shimmyin into that suit in a phone booth
TG: so fucking super
TG: the superest of fucked-upness
EB: i'm not going to lie dave
EB: if you said yes that would be insane
EB: in like a really bad way
EB: like i don't want to be mr. bossypants cause i already know what it's like
TG: to have certain broads and farmstinks all up in your business
EB: yeah pretty much
EB: but like
EB: dave tell me to shut up if i'm being a really tremendous asshole
EB: but why would you say yes? you already did sburb and you we won
EB: we all won
EB: you've been all heroic and stuff
EB: you know?? now you can just settle down and
EB: i don't know
EB: have a couple of beautiful salamander daughters and stuffff
TG: youre the one with the salamander daughters bro
TG: i mean you were pretty clear that you want a better life for casey
TG: involving none of lalondes gothy broad witchcraft and assorted makijs
TG: i know that your dads suggestions of building her a doghouse were greeted with absolute horror
TG: but what im sayin is
TG: ok i was some big hero or whatever in sburb
TG: now im just some dude with weird red eyes
TG: and ill be some weird old dude givin kids shitty cookies and tellin them crazy stories and their doting moms will be all
TG: now be nice to mr strider and let him think what he wants cause hes gone feeble in his old age there are no such things as unicorns kids no matter what he tells you
TG: and okay its kind of nice not to worry about like
TG: breakin the world like your grammies fine-ass china
TG: but
TG: i miss is
TG: being a hero
EB: i miss it too!
EB: it was fun being someone really important and having windy powers and saving the world
EB: but eventually i just missed not having to worry that my best friends and my dad were getting hurt or killed or something whenever i wasn't with them
EB: and sometimes when i was
EB: i don't know
EB: i'm kind of having fun going undercover and pretending to be more of a regular guy now, i guess
EB: and like
EB: some people probably think i'm pretty dumb
EB: but that's okay cause i have people
EB: and trolls too, hahaha
EB: who still want to hang out with me even when i am being dumb
EB: it's not like i go around telling people that i saved the world with my best bro
EB: i'm pretty sure most people would just laugh at my anyways
EB: i mean i am super cool but i'm not that cool, right?!
EB: like so what if people are judging you
EB: you've done super cool stuff
EB: fuck them
TG: thats not the point
EB: what is point then
TG: i dont even know ok
TG: but i dont think youre getting it
TG: and besides
TG: this dude or chick or whatever
TG: wants someone to help them out
TG: and we couldntve done it with out the trolls
TG: like one of us should help her out right?
EB: no!
EB: that's stupid!
EB: she can find other people
EB: and you know it1
TG: no i dont
EB: now you're just being a pain
EB: you just want to be the big ole hero again
EB: bluh bluh
EB: but cmon dave!
EB: you can't be a hero forever
EB: and there stuff to do here!
TG: so what if i want to be a ~hero~ again
TG: theres literally nothin fucking wrong with that
EB: i never said there was
TG: well excuse me for thinking thats what you meant
EB: don't get all huffy dave!
TG: im not getting huffy
TG: you gotta clarify your statements then
TG: im your professor and i aint takin not halfassed pansy sentences ok
TG: want you fucking research son
TG: haul out them big fucking encyclopedias
TG: haul them right out of the ninties where theyre positively fucking languishing
EB: daaave
TG: what
EB: stop itttt
EB: you're avoiding the subject
TG: what do you want me to say
TG: i mean you say you arent gonna tell me what to do
TG: so dont act pissy when u might do something you dont want me to do
EB: i'm not even being pissy
EB: you're all angsty dude
TG: im not angsty
TG: its just that
TG: after all that im not really ready to sit around for the rest of my life and do bullshit
TG: like its great that you dont care
TG: or that people like you or you have a life or dreams and stuff
TG: congrats bro throwin the confetti
TG: but
TG: you know what
TG: actually listen its getting really fucking dark out here so can we talk about this tomorrow
TG: i need to start makin my way downtown or i will be tumbling straight down all those stairs like a pudgy little kid on their way back home from the carnival carryin the biggest stuffed bear ever
EB: yeah sure of course
EB: never let it be said that i never
EB: warned you about the stairs
TG: nice one
EB: thanks!
EB: anyways
EB: i didn't mean to snap at you if that's what it sounded like
EB: i'm sorry if i was acting like a totally asshole
EB: it's just that the whole idea seems really weird
EB: to go into sburb 2 actually knowing what is it
EB: and what could happen and what it is
EB: and she or he or they don't seem super
EB: well
EB: stable???
TG: its fine bro
TG: i get it
TG: like i kinda dont know why im even considering it
TG: am i that fucked up
TG: but then look who im related to
EB: rose would probably say that there was like
TG: cognitive dissonance
EB: yeah! or something fancy like that!
EB: like i love rose and all but i can't understand half the stuff she says :/
  TG: dont worry man its just like
TG: a strider-lalonde trait (coughroxy)(coughbrodirk)
EB: haha you still called him brodirk??? hahaha man that's so awkwaaaard
TG: i dont know hes just never around
TG: always building his robots or whatever he does
TG: i would say out picking up dudes but for someone whos like nineteen
TG: he is the most boring dude ive ever met
TG: maybe hes still pining after jades grandpa oh my god
EB: ewwwww hes like nineteen now too though
EB: you don't have to call him jade's grandpa
EB: and you don't have a problem calling roxy roxy
TG: could you call roxy mrs lalonde
EB: well no
TG: yeah
TG: thought so
TG: goodnight sleep tight dont let the bedbugs bite
TG: cause youll be all snuggled up good and tight in your bed
TG: with your dumb ghostbusters sheets
TG: and those bedbugs will be like
TG: oh hell fucking yes
TG: you gotta be like oh hell fucking no
EB: yeah i will save it all for you <3
TG: thats more like it
TG: <3 you too bro and shit
TG: and seriously i promise we can discuss this all deep tomorrow
TG: discuss it to your hearts content
TG: lets hook pinkies right now and swear it shall be so
EB: okay! hooking pinkies as we speak!
EB: i'll talk to you tomorrow then
EB: bye dave! sleep all nice and cozy
TG: bye

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]--

Dave looks around. Dark's fallen fully already. The space in between the apartment buildings glows, just beneath him, rivers of light and cars and people, but up here it's dark except for the faint square of light from Fern’s closed skylight.
As he sits up and prepares to head down the stairs, he notices a potted plant sitting by the rim of the skylight.
“You lost, little plant?” he says, kneeling to see which one it is.
It’s the cactus. Taped to it is a note:
DEAR DAVE,
THIS IS FOR YOU. WATER ONLY OCCASIONALLY. NEEDS DIRECT SUNLIGHT EVERY DAY. NOT THROUGH A WINDOW.
FERN
Dave crumbles the note up and stick it in his pocket, then grabs the plant and half-stomps down the stairs, being careful not to stomp so hard he slips. There is a fine line between ironically imitating and fourteen year old girl whose parents won’t let her go to the mall and pulling a Karkat by stomping hard enough to miss a step.
  TG: and now i have to be responsible for this cactus
TT: Go home, Dave.
TT: You're drunk.
TG: look whos talking
TT: That was a low blow.
TT: I was merely attempting to point out through a shared language of memes that you typically don't message me out of the blue about cacti.
TG: i didnt ask for this cactus though now ive gotta
TG: take it on fucking walks every day
TG: oh look
TG: there goes davey strider
TG: with his darling pet cactus on a leash
TG: what a nice young man
TG: i should remember to buy some treats for his cactus
TG: so well trained
TT: I'm pretty sure that you're all worked up over something much less petty than a cactus
TT: She asked you, too, didn't she?
TG: hey hey hey
TG: youre the one whos always all
TG: dont go assuming peoples gender or whatever
TG: ask them theyre preferred pronouns
TG: they could be a dude
TG: or someone else or somethin
TT: Well, typically one should ask preferred pronouns
TT: However, she told me she identifies as a girl, in so many words, and I presume that she was assigned to that gender at birth.
TT: She doesn't seem like the type who would take the time to question her gender identity
TG: she didnt tell me any of that
TT: I think it was to appeal to my sense of sisterhood
TT: Something like, "ah, yes, we're all girls here doing girl things saving the world."
TG: girls doing girl things
TG: sure
TT: Shut up.
TG: no believe me im not tryin to heckle you about your sex life or whatever
TG: please keep that shit far away from me i already saw enough of it on the meteor
TG: just sayin
TG: it sounded a little sketchy
TG: dashin off a quick drawing before the bird flies away
TG: aw shit no paper gotta draw on a napkin
TG: get them lines down oh yeah
TG: gotta get the ~shape~
TT: Dave. You never really answered my question.
TT: I'm assuming she asked you.
TT: I'm also assuming your answer was no,
TT: Though I acknowledge the possibility that I might be incorrect
TG: well thanks youre so kind
TG: i didnt answer no
TG: i didnt answer anything yet
TT: Well. I suppose you've talked to John about it.
TG: yeah
TG: dont know why everyone always thinks i go to egbert first but whatever
TT: It's because you always do
TG: yeah yeah yeah enter your finding in your goff wizaard science fair
TG: anyways he said if he got his hands on sburb 2 hed break it
TG: or maybe i said that
TG: i don't know
TT: Why are you still considering it if you think it likely that you'd break it if it was ever delivered into you hands?
TG: because i dont know if i actually would ok
TG: i dont know will everyone leave me alone for a few minutes
TG: ive got certain broads shoving their horseshit in me face
TG: like sweet cherry popsicle jegus im just trying to drink some apple juice over here
TT: Are you sure that's apple juice you're drinking?
TG: oh look at the pot calling the kettle black
TG: youre like the broadest fucking pot in the cabinet
TG: genuine maple if you were wondering
TG: all sooted up from a good hard turn over the stove or whatever
TG: walking up to the kettle
TG: which has been scrubbed like fucking immaculately by the by
TG: and going in the snottiest of broad voices
TG: as snooty as a toddler with the flu
TG: you are looking downright grimy today my dead
TG: i suggest getting yourself to the sink immediately
TG: wouldnt do to be looking sloppy
TG: and classless
TG: snotty broad wink
TG: completely failing to notice
TG: that they are themselves
TG: downright grody
TG: like a hundred times more down right shamelessly soiled and sooty
TG: in fact downright black
TG: then this very fucking cool kettle
TG: do you catch my drift
TT: Less "caught" and more "knocked over by its noxious wave," but yes.
TT: I have indeed caught your drift
TT: Also, Kanaya wanted me to tell you that they'll be within pestering distance tomorrow if the weather keeps up nicely
  TG: the last thing i need right now is kk sending me fucking blocks of grey text
TG: like a fangirl trying to format her wizard slash on livejournal for the first time
TG: i guess i can tolerate it though
TG: my cactus needs sun anyways
TG: and the adoration of all the old ladies down my street
  TT: To keep them from getting too bored while they trim their rosebushes and touch up the paint on their white picket fences, I suppose
TG: yeah pretty much
TT: Goodnight, Dave.
TT: Don't say anything foolish, and don't be rash.
TT: Being a hero isn't all it's chalked up to be
TG: i thought it was pretty great but whatever
TG: night

-- tentacleTherapist[TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]--

He flops onto his bed (landing on a dorito’s bag that crumples irritatingly loud underneath him) and pulls off his iShades. He pushes the cactus further back on his nightstand so it will be out of the way when he fumbles for the alarm the next morning. He stuffs his knife underneath his mattress.
His chest feels tensed, as if he was holding a sword, but his hands are empty, his shitty nylon comforter scratchy underneath his palms.
Chest too heavy to stand, he falls asleep without brushing his teeth or crawling under the covers or pulling off his hoodie.

He wakes up the next morning to a blast of early morning talk show and the sound of something hitting the ground.
He fumbles for his knife, his iShades, and the snooze button, and only finds two of them.
His iShades had vibrated onto the floor, where they attempt to dance through the shag of his rug. He reaches over and picks them up, and there’s message after message from John, a few from Rose. It’s nearly ten-thirty, and his head hurts and his neck hurts and he feels like kicking a chair (It’s not nearly as satisfying as he’d thought and now his foot hurts too).
He limps out to his kitchen and digs another hot pocket out of the freezer, then starts messing around with the coffeemaker, and he feels like maybe he timetraveled back to yesterday. Same clothes same ache same cheese melting on the plate. His apartment feels too small and his cactus needs sun, and he decides to eat breakfast on the roof.
It’s hotter than the bottom of the oldest shittiest Dell still existing up there, but the cactus doesn’t seem to mind. The edges of the leaves had curled up slightly overnight, but within a few minutes they’d extended and straightened.
Rose’s are some sarcastic comments about his sleeping schedule and cactus-parenting abilities and a hello from Kanaya. The messages stop as soon as she realizes that he isn’t just “going to sleep” as in “stay up and surf the internet until everything in life seems pointless and slightly blurry.”
John’s began at six in the morning and he’s still receiving more, rambling, in typical-John fashion, about pretty much every-fucking-thing with a strong focus on shitty eighties movies and power ballads.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]--

TG: dear gog dude
TG: you do realize that not everyone gets up at the asscrack of dawn
TG: by the fifteenth message discussing every sweet crevice of nic cages face and appendages
TG: did you even try
TG: oh shit im like pulling down my pants and motorboating my bonor of nic cage everywhere
TG: better stop oh shit where is all this spaghetti comin from
TG: why is all this spaghetti in my pockets
TG: oh shit slippin on all this spaghetti fuck man fallin down all these stairs
EB: dave!
EB: hi man!
TG: you didnt even metion that ive been talking about spaghetti comin out of your dick youre really trying to be smooth right
EB: nah. i'm used to it by now
TG: so we have a lot of conversations about spaghetti coming out of your dick that im missing
EB: what? no!!
TG: hahahaha dude
TG: its ok
TG: keep your pants on
EB: don't tell me what i'm supposed to do with my pants!
EB: i am waving my pants in the air!
EB: FREEDOM
EB: haha yeeeaah
TG: youre a doofus
TG: how are you even such a doofus tell me your secrets
TG: im throwin myself at your feet here longing for instructions on how to find
TG: my inner chump
TG: oops welp dave you dont have one youre too cool
TG: why thanks egbert you flatter me
EB: ...
TG: what are you doing
TG: dont dot dot dot at me
TG: spit it out lets have this conversation right here right now ok
TG: just dont throw any punches while the children are watching
TG: and we cant let them be scarred by daddy and mommy fighting
TG: because we just aint got the money for a child psychologist
TG: because there is a child present
EB: what
EB: who?
TG: dude
TG: my cactus
EB: our child would obviously be casey
EB: not your cactus
TG: what
TG: is casey jealous of her little cacti sibling
TG: turns over her crib
TG: steals her crayons
TG: shes tearing this family apart jegus
TG: hey john
TG: you still there
TG: i wasnt insulting your salamander daughters honor or anything
TG: i would never insult dear sweet casey
TG: shes the fruit of my loins
TG: my lovely salamander daughter
TG: aint no abusive papa here
TG: john?
EB: i'm still here!
EB: no, that's not it.
EB: it's fine
casey knows you love her ;)
TG: phew cant stand to disappoint the kids
TG: i remember back one year when daddy had no money
TG: mommy wrapped the christmas presents up
TG: and stuck em under the tree and said some of em were from me
TG: cause daddy couldnt buy em
TG: ill never forget that christmas
TG: i sat up the whole night cryin
TG: no wait thats eminem
TG: sorry kids
EB: see this is why i don't want you to go!
TG: because im eminem wait what
EB: no! because you're my best friend and you're ridiculous and funny
EB: and i know you aren't going to come back here
EB: and you probably know it too!
EB: you know how the game is!
TG: ok maybe i dont come back to here specifically but im not staying anywhere that you and jade and rose arent
TG: you know that john
EB: that's not even what i mean
EB: and you know it!!!
EB: you're just trying to be annoying
EB: and i don't get it
EB: why is playing the game again so fucking important
TG: dude im sixteen and weve saved the world
TG: i actually didnt fuck it up
TG: at least not too bad but whatever
TG: what the fuck am i supposed to do now
EB: play some shitty video games!
EB: i don't know!
EB: i was going to come to college in houston
EB: we've talked about it before, cmon
TG: are you kiddin dont come to texas its shitty
TG: and dude im not going to college
EB: why not daaaave??
TG: dont daaaave me
TG: i dont know ok i just got dirkbro back and hes still getting settled in i dont just want to trot off to college now
TG: on my little pony feet
TG: or hooves or whatever theyre called
TG: while he calls after me
TG: come back rainbow dash
TG: grace me with your sweet pony eyes again
TG: and your ~sass~
TG: and plush pony dong
EB: daaaaaaaave
TG: oh my god dont do the eight thing
TG: you do know we can talk to them tomorrow
EB: yeah
EB: rose told me
EB: but that's not even the point
EB: you don't have to say no, i guess
EB: i'm not going to tell you what to do!
EB: i just wanted to say that i'd miss you so so so much
TG: i would miss you too
TG: but if you say some bullshit about how im being selfish by not thinking of how rose and jade and you feel
TG: im just gonna tell you right now
TG: that thats bullshit
TG: and it aint working
EB: i wasn't going to do anything like that
EB: i guess i just don't understand how you could go through sburb and want to do it again
TG: not gonna lie i dont understand it either
TG: to be honest its kind of scaring me
TG: because i dont want to do it
TG: ive seen all of us die
TG: even you
TG: i mean i saw the sword sticking out of bro jegus christ
TG: but everythings so slow here
TG: its time
TG: its like its sticky
TG: and every days the same
TG: and its almost as terrifying as facing down an imp with a fucking shitty broken sword
TG: i cant do this john
TG: i need to say yes
TG: i need to know
TG: i dont even know what i need to know
TG: maybe after this time i can stop
EB: dave
EB: i know what you're trying to say
EB: but there's other stuff
EB: stuff right here
EB: stuff you can do!
EB: that's it
EB: i'm coming to visit as soon as i can get a ticket
EB: please dave
TG: im going on a walk
TG: ill talk to you later ok
EB: use your ishades
EB: we need to talk about this shit dave
TG: im walking without my ishades

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]--

EB: dave?!?
EB: come on dude not cool!
EB: you better get your skinny little butt over here right now!
EB: dave, i'm really worried
EB: please be careful
EB: don't cross the street unless you look both ways?!!
EB: just
EB: dave

Dave doesn’t really go back to his apartment to get a new pair of shades. He doesn’t even bother to take his cactus back, either, because his heart’s beating fast and painful and his eyes sting and he needs to get out. He just grabs the backpack he’d hauled the cactus up in that he’s pretty sure has a least ten bucks stuffed in some pocket and runs.
He clatters down the fire escape, his legs aching by the time he reaches the bottom floor, not as easy as swooping down into the valleys and lava crevasses of LOHAC, cramps in his side and red rust smeared on his hands from the railings.
There’s people everywhere, and Dave’s heart stutters in his chest, the too-rapid tickticktick of a clock being wound, and time explodes fast in a blur of sound.
Hot thick air shoves its way down Dave’s throat and for a second he blinks at the oncoming rush of cars.
He’s breathless, and then he’s determined to go the McDonalds and get french fries. He stalks down the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets, feeling like his ribs are being crunched by some kind of fucking STRONG hoofbeast that shoves the goddamn milk of regret and melancholy down the throats of people who only intended to go get delicious oxygenated-blood-pumper-clogging fried food.
He’s on his way to the apartment again, John’s messages like the most sour of blue raspberry in the corner of his vision and backpack stuffed full of greasy fucking potatoes courtesy of the fucking creepiest clown in existence (bless you Ronald McDonald), when he hears Azealia Banks blaring from a car waiting at a red light.
And Terezi’s in the car, the curve of her neck and her ridiculously pointed angular grin as she bobs her head and sharp-edged eyes, but her skin’s not grey, it’s dark brown, and there are no curved candy-corn horns poking out from her black hair. Dave knows it’s rude and creepy and Lalonde would lecture him so hard about the male gaze and all this other shit but it’s desperation, it’s the itch under his skin, it’s please please please remember remember how we won it all. He has no way to communicate it, and so he holds on hand over his head like a headphone and slides his other hand in the air like he’s working his turntables. It’s all he has to offer to Terezi, anyways, the coolkid who is only ever dorky ironically, and please please take it.
Her Terezi-smile drops, replaced with another girl altogether, furrowing her brow, a little weirded out, who offers him a hesitant thumbs-up before pulling away.
Dave’s left standing there staring stupidly into the street. He looks at the sidewalk again and longs exclusively for french fries.

-- absentConqueror [AC] began questioning turntechGodhead [TG]--

AC: Have you thought about it?
AC: There's only one day left, Dave
TG: ok i know jegus christ give me some time
TG: besides its really more like two days
TG: its like twelve in the afternoon ok
TG: and i dont even get started until eleven
AC: You're exaggerating.
AC: It's nearly dusk on your earth.
AC: Also Ii don't understand why you are incapable of spelling the name of the earth's Christian religions's savior correctly.
TG: well see it started because terezi was talking to john
TG: actually she was trying to kill him but whatever
TG: and then you know what i am not actually explaining this old and shitty and frankly stupid meme to you
TG: i dont even know why i use it ok
TG: also its not nearly dusk
AC: Believe it or not, all the scientific evidence seems to point to the fact that, indeed, it is almost
AC: your stupid dusk.
TG: oh thank god you didnt say human dusk
TG: you were so close you wanted to do it so bad
TG: i know these things
TG: are you sure youre not a troll
TG: also nice lots of snarky broad horseshit just what i wanted for dinner thanks mom
AC: If Ii were a troll Ii would rip off my horns and cram them down my throat.
AC: What a grubby, utilitarian, unimaginative race.
AC: And of course, if I was a human like you, Dave, I would weep weak salty tears and then throw myself off a speeding meteor.
AC: %Kl
AC: Or to use a more human face, so as to be sure my expression is completely clear:
AC: :)
TG: oh my god dont even try using that smilie face thing oh my god its terrifying
TG: coming from you it is the smuppet of emoticons ok
AC: By that do you mean it is vaguely improfessional?
AC: If so, Ii agree.
AC: Henceforth Ii think i shall refrain from using it.
TG: great
TG: ok nice chattin with you but i gotta go
AC: Are you going to answer me?
TG: tomorrow
TG: dont worry ill decide in time
TG: i have to go
TG: do a thing
TG: an important thing
TG: this thing
TG: bye

-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum--

AC: A thing?
AC: This is a tremendous waste of time.

-- absentConqueror [AC] is now an idle interrogator! --