infiniteandsmall

AN. This is really different than it started as. Less Brittany and Blaine. Actually, this is probably the least Blaine in one of my fics EVER. Fine, I’m going to have to write another fic to have my Marley/Brittany. Thanks brain.

Also I reread this and didn’t know who the fuck was holding her head at the end, then realized I meant for it to be Jake. But I like it ambiguous! Ship all the things! (But Jarley’s super cute and I finally post a fic and it’s partly about a het couple what is life.)
Edit: I finally got around to posting this on dreamwidth!

Songs are “Primadonna Girl” by Marina and the Diamonds, and “This Is the New Year,” Glee Cast Version.

Marley hasn't been to a sleepover since she started high school.

Okay, it might be that she’s never really stayed at any one school long enough to form friendships. But she remembers the twists of anxiety in her stomach as she’d scan the cafeteria, the feeling of being exposed, the urge to cover her bare neck under everyone’s gaze.

For the forth time, she checked to make sure she had her toothbrush.

“So Unique’s mom will drop you off back here tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, Mom. She’ll take me home at three.”

Her mom is smiling. “I’m so glad you’ve got a friend like her. She seems like a real sweet girl.”

“She’s awesome,” Marley says, hoists her backpack on her shoulder, her throat suddenly aching.

Marley remembers her first sleepover as sharply as yesterday, even though the memory was nine years old. The boy down the street, outside until it was dark enough that the horizon line was blurred, the fireflies in the airholed jar stuffed with leaves in case the fireflies were hungry, sneaking downstairs to finish their monopoly game at three in the morning.

Maybe I should’ve worn a skirt, Marley thinks, and remembers how easy that sleepover had been. Oh god what if my hair is sticking up in the back again what if I drool in my sleep.

She wishes she was one of those girls who could roll out of bed and look good she would look so ridiculous in the morning.

Marley’s pretty sure she’s about three stages from putting lampshades on her head.

“You don’t think someone spiked the coke?” She says, and Unique laughs loud into the microphone. Her cheeks are burning, her face must be bright red. The metal edge of her own microphone is warm from her palms, but her wrists are still cold. She hold them against her face as Unique swipes the screen of her iPod, pulling up another karaoke backing track from Youtube.

“Primadonna?” Unique says.

“You have lyrics?”

“Yeah,” Unique says, putting the iPod into her stereo. “You might have to lean over a little.”

“I don’t care,” Marley says, and the bass is thumping and the air is close and the room smells like popcorn and brownies. She’s drunk off the late night and the open window and Unique’s easy laugh and how loud her own voice sounds in the microphone on Unique’s karaoke machine. She’s down to her undershirt and pajama pants, hair in a bun on top of her head that’s falling down as she spins and twirls and jumps and her throat hurts. She’s glad she doesn’t have glee for two days, because she’s sure she’s going to croak tomorrow but she doesn’t want to stop.

“This is so much fun,” Marley says as Unique sings. She doesn’t know the words and her neck hurt from craning it to see the lyrics, so she switches her hips to the beat and hops from foot to foot. “We should’ve done this sooner!”

Unique smiles around a note, “Would you do anything for me? Buy a big diamond ring for me?” and Marley croons backup harmonies and twirls on the tips of her toes.

“Get what I want because I asked for it, not because I’m that deserving of it,” Unique’s singing, and Marley feels dizzy as the wide bottoms of her pants flare out and tangle underneath her heels, her cheeks hurt from smiling.

“This is the most fun ever!” Marley says and they collapse on the bed.

Later at night, lamps off but the string of faerie lights that drape over Unique’s dresser mirror plugged in, the heat in her face dims to a pleasant warmth, she doesn’t need to blush in the dark.

They talk boys, they talk vicious girls’ bathroom gossip, makeup brands and boy bands and everything in between. It’s slumber party talk, plans fueled with sugar making them crazy and nonsensical and they’ll never happen, but it would be perfect. A runaway road trip up to some city, or climbing out the window onto the roof with two spoons and a carton of ice cream, going up to the boy and taking his hand and wrapping fingers around his neck and kissing him hard.

Unique’s asleep first, drifting off mid-sentence. Marley rises up on one elbow to see Unique’s eyelashes flutter shut.

Quietly, so she doesn’t wake her, she crawls out of her nest of blankets and sleeping-bag polyester to unplug the lights. She’d thought her eyes were used to the dark, but suddenly the placement of the shadows had changed, and she has to stand there, leaning against the wall with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, before she’s sure of her ability to get back to her spot without tripping over anything.

Her heart’s beating fast when she curls back into a comfortable position, but it slows quickly, the breathing of another person evening the rhythm. She falls asleep warm and deep and doesn’t dream about anything that she can remember in the morning.

Unique’s locker is tidily organized, with a mirror and a dry erase board hanging on the door. The markers are kept in a container in the back left corner, and Marley likes to leave a doodle or a scribbled in-joke before Unique shuts her locker, for her to find next class. She’s got extra lipgloss and a few tubes of chapstick in the little pink pouch on top of the marker container, her books in the order that she needs them, her stash of gum tucked between a spare set of clothes and neatly coiled phone chargers and earbuds.

It’s not like her to leave something in her locker that she won’t need for her day. But Marley’s not surprised that she doesn’t take out the spare dress, just adds a pair of pants and a polo.

“I can still call you Unique,” Marley says.

“It’s probably better if you don’t,” Unique says, and she doesn’t have a single note of snap in it. She sounds tired, and she’s got heavy dark circles under her eyes. “I dunno. I just want to go home and sleep.”

“Want to come over to my place? I can look over the history chapter and just tell you the parts you need.”

“I’ll call my mom. That would be great,” Unique says softly. She looks young without makeup or her wig. She looks like she does when she wakes up in the morning.

Her head’s light and the world swims, the world is a sea of red and orange and flashes of light, like looking into the sun with closed eyelids, veins and skin…

Her joints won’t lock and her knees are shaking, but she has to hold her position—

Did the lights go out—

Tina’s eyes are sharp, staring through her. She’s sitting there, hair curled and hands folded, in an orange plastic chair with her legs crossed, and she’s glaring at Marley, and god, Marley wants to shrink through the floor, right through the linoleum even if she’ll just end up in the musty old spiderwebbed school basement. She’s never felt like that walking into this room, she’d always felt safe—

And Sugar’s sitting next to her, arms crossed. Her eyes flick to Tina, and then she gives Marley a less intense version of the glare.

Kitty’s smirk is sly and unrepentant, and Marley can’t look at her.

Unique’s gesturing Marley over with a finger, Blaine’s giving her a small encouraging smile, and Ryder looks over at Unique and imitates the gesture. Jake smiles at her and gets up from his seat next to Sam to take her arm.

“I’m glad you’re back,” he says, gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and leads her to a seat between him and Unique, it’s like they’re her shields, no one else in the choir room can see her. God, she doesn’t want anyone else to see her, she feels sick to her stomach because it was all her fault—

Her throat’s suddenly tight, they’ll all hate her god they must hate her so much right now…

“Marley,” Blaine says, turning around in his seat. “We were wondering—me and Sam—“

Sam spins around with practiced timing and nods—

“—If you want to join the Superhero Club.”

“Or Heroine,” Sam says. “But we weren’t allowed to put that in the club because it’s too easily misprinted and could cause a drug culture at McKinley.”

“Um. Sure. Sure! I mean, I’d love to,” she says. “Are they—?”

“Everyone’s invited to join,” Blaine says.

“We just decided to ask you first,” Sam says.

Blaine darts his gaze to Sam for a second, and Sam shrugs in reply.

“So. Tell us whenever you’re ready who your superhero is. We can get you a costume,” Sam says.

“Wait. Costumes and everything?” Unique says, bouncing a little in her seat. “Unique is so in.”

“Why didn’t you ask me yet?” Tina says.

“We’re going to ask you,” Blaine says.

“No, Blaine! Wait! We have to do the song!”

“You have a song for me?” Tina says, smile in a corner of her mouth, focus off Marley thank god.

“Yep,” Sam says, nodding solemnly and leaning out of his seat to rummage in his backpack.

Blaine’s holding back a smile as he fishes through his own bag, and the band sounds to opening notes of a song just as they whip out a pair of capes.

Sugar lets out an approving whistle and Tina’s grinning and Joe’s laughing and she remembers that she felt safe here. Unique squeezes her shoulder and she catches Jake’s eye and she still does.

“She’s freezing,” Santana says, raising an eyebrow at Unique. “She shouldn’t use up energy being cold jesus christ why didn’t you get this girl a blanket—“

“I—“ Unique starts, but Santana holds up one finger.

“Hold up. Auntie ‘Tana’s got this. Hey, hey. You,” she says, with a snap of her fingers, gesturing a black-hoodied crew member over.

“Ye-es?” The girl says, arms crossed with the clear air of I-have-somewhere-I-need-to-be-dear-god-stage-people.

Marley smiles and shrugs and tries to look apologetic. Once Santana gets going there’s no stopping her.

“She needs a blanket or—“

“I have a sweater. And a coat,” Marley says.

“Girl, I’ve seen those. That sweater doesn’t cover her neck, you need something to cover your neck—“

“I can wear my coat.”

“That’s not a coat, that a windbreaker,” Santana says. “You shouldn’t be wearing that out, it’s the dead of winter, you’ll catch something—“

Unique’s gaping, trying to bite back a laugh, and the crew girl is tapping a foot.

“She needs a blanket—” Santana eyes the crew hoodie, thick and fleece from the inside of the hood curling against the girl’s throat. “—hey, do you have any extra of those hoodies?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you—“ the girl says, spinning around to leave.

“Hey!” Santana says. “You do know that this girl has a rare nervous system disorder?”

“So?” The girl says, but she looks at Marley with one eyebrow raised, as if looking for confirmation.

Marley sees Unique nodding out of the corner of her eye, and nods along.

“If her body temperature drops below a certain point, her circulation stops and she starts craving human blood.”

The girl’s eyes widen. Unique nods again and Marley follows her lead.

“Um—well—let me go get you something—“ she stutters.

“Better hurry,” Santana says.

“I will, I will,” the girl says, nodding, then turning and running the other way.

“I will never say anything bad about Santana again,” Unique says, pulling something up on her phone, legs curled up underneath the huge wool blanket they were sharing, the sleeves of a crew hoodie pulled up to her knuckles. “I took a video of her going all mama bear on you. I was planning to use it for blackmail purposes for the rest of her life, but Unique is deleting it because that girl is an angel.”

Marley laughs, leaning against Unique’s shoulder to watch her delete an audio file labeled “mwahaha.”

“Hey, you’re lookin’ cozy,” someone says from behind her, pulling the hood of her matching crew sweatshirt up over her head.

“Hey, Jake.”

“If you ask nicely, Unique’ll share the blanket.”

“Ple-ease?” Jake says, fluttering his eyelashes.

“You may,” Unique says, and Jake wiggles under the blanket next to Marley and wraps an arm around her waist.

“Hey, how come he gets to go under there?” Kitty says.

“I want to sit next to Unique,” Ryder says.

“No, I want to sit next to her!”

“I called it first!”

“Scoot, scoot—”

“You’re sitting on my foo-o-ot—“

“Artie you just rolled over my hand, ow—“

“SO WARM—“

“Blaine, come sit on my lap!—“

Marley feels warm through to her toes, crowded close in a pile of the New Directions. Her face hurts from smiling, from the way that they fit together so easily.

“Guys, guys!” Finn towers over them, taller than ever. His eyes are wide, and he’s clapping his hands together, glancing wildly at the green room door as if trying to transport them through it with sheer willpower. “Guys, we’re on in ten oh my god we’ll be late—“

They all start hollering at once as they pull each other up.

“You’ll kill it,” Jake says softly.

“C’mon, Jake, you’re stage right,” Ryder says, pulling him away.

He presses a quick kiss to her forehead and winks as he runs after Ryder.

“You ready?” Unique says.

Marley can feel a smile spreading warm and wide across her face, she’s sure she’s got lipstick on her teeth by now and she barely cares. “Never been readier,” she says, and Unique holds the stage door open for her with a grin.

“There you go, primadonna girl,” she says.

Marley steps out of the backstage fluorescent lights and into the velvety darkness of the wings.

She feels like she could float straight out of her body, the pinch of her heels and the itch of her hairsprayed curls against her neck gone.

Everything’s gold and bright, and her heart’s fluttering fast in her chest as the lights flick off.

The whisk of the curtains closing, the roar of the crowd—she doesn’t want it to stop. She feels like she could stop time right then and there, she really does, blood pounding in her ears, she could do anything—

A hand works into hers, she knows the feel of it even with adrenaline making her dizzy.

A million nights you were the brightest blue.

She looks over her shoulder at the silent dark stage, and holds that superhero second in her chest, tucks it away somewhere, then blinks into the light cutting out of the backstage door.

And I would give the world to you..